Friday, April 23, 2010

Have you ever had that feeling that you've forgotten something? Or worse, someone?

There's that feeling that you get as a parent when you are in the middle of something, turn, and realize that one of your kids has wandered off to who-knows-where. A slight panic.

Last summer we attempted to stay at a hotel on the beach for the first time with five kids, when Nadia was just two weeks old. I know, crazy... (You'd be surprised how differently you parent once you have five kids vs. the first one or two!)
During that first trek from the boardwalk to the shore, it was more than difficult to keep everyone together. But we did it.
But, not five minutes later, while setting up the umbrella, I suddenly realized that Avery, 2 at the time, was no where to be seen.

My mom and dad in-law were there along with my brother in-law and sister in-law and their two kids. Somehow, with six of us adults, we had lost a little one.

That 30 seconds felt like forever.

We scanned the already crowded beach to find her on a nearby playground in the sand. At that point, though, I was already in tears with my heart in my throat.

That's the most dramatic it's gotten with trying to keep track of all five kids.

Still, every day, there's the head-count. Everywhere we go, even when we're at home. Just always checking to make sure that everyone's accounted for.

The thing is, lately (and I don't think it's necessarily because this five-kid thing is getting any easier) I get that feeling a lot more often.
Even when all of my kids are closeby and I know where they all are, it's like there's someone missing. I get that feeling of slight panic, look around, everyone is there, and doesn't go away...

...Do you think that means something???

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