so that's it???

Last Friday, June 5, 2009, we had our last official day of homeschooling.

Emily and Kaleb took their end of year testing (passed with flying colors), and that was that.

The four year homeschool journey that began with Emily's kindergarten lessons, she and I sitting at the kitchen table, inspiration and fear battling for my brain, is over.
It hasn't really hit me, I guess. I don't feel relief or sadness. Not like I thought I would, anyway.
I'm trying to reflect on those first months, when I'd drop Kaleb off at preschool in 2005 and Emily and I would settle in at home or a coffee shop. Just us. Wow, she was a smart cookie. Absorbed everything I threw at her. She taught herself to read. No lie.
Many days, I sat with my three and five year old and did art projects that taught bible verses. Emily completed her lessons with ease. We had soft classical music playing in the backround. We went to gym/swim class. We took picnics and bikerides, talking and learning about trees and leaves. I remember thinking it was a lot of work. Ha. I had no idea how life was going to change!

This past year, especially in the fall, our days went a little more like this: Exhausted from nursing and being pregnant at the same time, I try to choke down a cup of coffee in the morning. I throw up. We sit at the homeschool table while Avery begs me to turn on Dora. Poopy diaper. I remind the kids to stay seated and finish their work while I clean stinkypants. We make it through one subject. I throw up. Someone else has a poopy diaper. I throw up. I try to go over phonics with Kaleb. I can't keep my eyes open because I have zero nourishment in my system. I nurse a baby. We do Emily's math lesson. Avery pees on the rug. I try to get lunch ready. I throw up. And it's not even noon yet...

So I guess the fond memories and the scary moments are balancing themselves out right now. I am sure I will have my moments of mourning. (I always, even in the crazy moments, considered myself VERY blessed to have all of my kids home with me.) And I'm sure I'll have my moments of relief. Right now, I guess I'm just too freaked out about everything else in life to give it too much thought.

Oh, and I do hope to do it again. The youngest three will begin kindergarten for three consecutive years! (Avery in 2012, Levi in 2013, new baby in 2014!)