Anyone that knows me can probably take a wild guess and figure out what the big news is...
Could it be???
Here's the long version of the story...
When I was pregnant with Levi, Greg and I decided that he would be our final baby. Since he was conceived, he's been nothing but a blessing. My pregnancy was my easiest yet, his delivery was nearly pain free (really! and the only one without any meds!), and what a good baby! I rejoiced that he, only 18 months younger than Avery, fit so nicely into our already large family. Why go for another when he completed the picture so well?
Well, that's what I thought...
Four weeks ago, when I realized I was late, I frantically took a test. Negative.
If you read my "I have been changed forever" post, you'll see that early October was quite stressful for our family. So I chalked it up to exactly that...stress. A week after that test, I was still late. What in the world? Let's test again. I casually took a test while Greg was downstairs (I usually make him read the results), and nearly fainted when I read what the little circle on the purple stick contained...a + sign...
What? Levi is five months old! Avery isn't even two! Panic set in...and it hasn't left since.
I wouldn't even let Greg discuss the pregnancy. I was in denial. We were done! Levi was supposed to be my youngest! My thirties were supposed to be about getting in shape and finding my old self and NOT about having more babies! And how would I manage five? Three kids under three years old? Not even Supermom would find that undaunting.
I decided to wait to tell family. For one, I wasn't even ready to say it. I couldn't picture myself spilling the beans. Also, we all just mourned the loss of my sister's baby. I couldn't tell them I was having another. I'll wait until Christmas, I told myself.
Well, now, I'm past the eight week mark, and I'm suddenly feeling pregnant. The morning sickness has arrived. I'm exhausted. It's a struggle to raise four kids, the youngest being six months old. I want to be able to share with friends and family what I am going through, and that means I have to share my news.
So, here it is:
In June 2009, we will welcome our FIFTH child!
My heart has done all sorts of flip-flops since learning how our lives are about to change...again.
This posting does not end with a mom who is utterly lost in fear. Nervous, YES, I certainly am! But I have prayed for peace of mind and for an excitement over this next baby. I know that he or she will be a BLESSING! Each of my kids has added such a richness to my life, and I love them all dearly. This new little one will do that too. I look forward to the moment when I can look into this baby's eyes and tell them how thankful I am that God had him or her in mind all along. When God put Greg and I together, he planned this baby too.
A close friend just spoke this verse to my heart, "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
I am asking you to pray for our family. Pray for a sweet anticipation, for an easy pregnancy, for wisdom concerning the kids and school next year (homeschooling is unlikely), and that we may be overflowing with hope.
Another baby. We've been trusted with another little life. I feel quite undeserving, but I'm starting to feel up to the task. I love you, little one. I can't wait to meet you...