The best laid plans

I've been pretty open about how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with my littlest, Nadia Claire.

Shocked. Afraid. Angry.

Dear Lord, how am I going to do this? This is not what I wanted right now!

It took a while for the excitement of a new baby to kick in. I honestly didn't want to believe it was true.

But now, when I look at her sweet face, I can't believe she wasn't part of the plan all along.

Well, she was. Just not part of my plan.

Her mellow personality, the way she loves to cuddle, the way her pretty smile lights up a room...it's all proof that even when we think we have our futures figured out, God knows best.

We may end up kicking and screaming at the beginning, but before long, we'll look back and wonder why we ever put up a fight in the first place.

Be the Light

It's funny what a difference 24 hours makes.

As a parent, as I'm sure all parents can relate, it's SO easy to get caught up in life. To feel trapped. To feel like it's all so hard. To feel helpless.

It all seems so mundane. Like a ratrace in which we're always just a little bit behind.

At least that's how I often feel. Especially lately.

I want to fit in all that I can in my days. I want to, first of all, survive the poopy diapers and the spills and messes and the sibling rivalry. I want my house to be clean and well organized. I want my kids to feel like they are special to me and like I enjoy the time we spend together. I want my husband to feel loved and fulfilled when he gets home. I want to find time to exercise. Time for myself, shopping...the list goes on and on and on.

I tend to get so frustrated that I do just go into survival mode. I take care of what I need to take care of, and do it, without joy, without passion, without drive. I don't go out of my way to reach out to friendships. I don't try to find ways to help those around me. I don't delight in ways to make the people I love know what they mean to me.

I can't get to the details.

One of my greatest friends was born with two brains, I swear. One of them is for functioning and survival. The other is for details. She's amazing. She is more passionate about a particular napkin fold or movie line than I can get about anything in life. (you can check her out here)

So, another good friend was here last night, and it was so refreshing to hear his take on God's grace. When our hearts are in the right place, God works out the details.

The details. Ugh, the details. The things, people, chores, kids, dinners, workouts, shopping, etc...the details that I can't get to.

Seek first the kingdom of God. And everything else will be added to you. It's a promise that God gives us to remind us that the details are in His hands.

What's my job? To handle all of the details? No. My job is to make sure that my little light is shining, and to be the lifegiver that I'm called to be for my family. To desire to spread that light and that life to the people around me. To my friends and church family. To get to know them better and try to enrich their lives, not mine. It's so easy to lose sight of that when life is crazy. But I am thankful for God's grace, and for His promise that when we are focused on His kingdom, all of the details will be taken care of. They may not be perfect...

...and life may get a little crazy...

...but they will be taken care of.

Be the light...

A birth story...grab the tissues!

If you are a mama, you have GOT to read this birth story! So beautiful...you WILL cry!

I'd love to hear what you think!